People who have inspired me….

·         A leader who strived hard to get rights :- Martin Luther King

·         The man who was defeated many times yet rose to the apex:- Abraham Lincoln

·         The woman who showed me that “Dance” was not just an art but it was “Portrayal of Life” :- Shobana

·         The man with an amputed leg who ran miles to spread awareness about cancer :- Terry Fox

·         The man who changed the face of the economy (from a desert to a oil producing highly developed area) :- Sheikh Zayed Bin Sulthan Al Nahyan

·         The woman who showed me that even “passionate women” can take up film making as a career  :- Revathi (A national award winner too for the movie –“Red Building where the sun sets”)

·         The woman who showed me what a model teacher should be like :- Parvathy Maam

·         The actress with genuine passion and an urge to do weird things in life (just like me ) :- Nithya Menon

·         The man who inspired me with his poetry :- ONV Kurup

·         The woman who inspired me with her writing and I fell for her flair for words (both in English and Malayalam) :- Kamala Das (Madhavi Kutty)

·         The man who never gave up ( I admire his persistence) :- Henry Ford

·         The maestros who inspired me with their music :- A.R Rahman, Illayaraja, Sharath

·         The director who brought out the movie “Anjali”, “Kannathil Muthammittaal” and “Bombay” :- Mani Ratnam (Hats Off to you sir)

·         The Director who inspired me with his style of film making….(the stunts, the casting, the music, the shot’s elevation) :- Amal Neerad

·         The humble and simple world known sports personality :- Sachin Tendulkar

·          The man who chose Freedom as his bride and left home to save our country :- Bhagath Singh (Inquilab Zindabad)

 ·   The man who dreamt of becoming a pilot in the Indian Air Force, was rejected subsequently and in the end, he became the President of India (the supreme commander of all 3 forces in the country) :- Dr APJ Abdul Kalam

Lastly….

·         The man who told me about his childhood, the hardships he faced, the pain when he lost his parents at a young age, the responsibilities he needed to undertake, the strenuous job he got when he was just 17 :- Saju Koshy (My Father….. The best Father in the world)

·         The woman who is an excellent manager at home (though she isn’t an MBA), who guides me, punishes me when im wrong, motivates me saying “You can”! She’s the best nurse too! :- Rani Saju Koshy ( My mother…. Though we don’t look like mum n child when we walk together…she’s definitely a beauty)

·         The young man who’s 10 years younger to me…who showed me maturity is not about age (n he’s more mature than me)….who’s my best friend to whom I can talk about anything under the sun…. who fights with me….. who makes me cry…. Who taught me sharing is all about caring…. Who convinces my parents to buy me what I need :- Alwyn Christy Saju ( My sweetest Brother)

I hate MCPs

It was International Nurses day 2 days back….a day to remember the angels who perform miracles in our lives!!!! They are the first ones to carry us, bathe us before placing us into our mother’s arms!!!! Most often these nurses are ill-treated and less paid!!!! I have heard people (mostly Keralites) saying they marry a nurse so as to settle abroad!!!! A nurse is their key to a foreign country where mostly these so-called husbands never do any job at all….and when asked…they just say….”Job??...why the hell???...my wife is a nurse!!!!”

In Kerala, girls specially from the middle class families end up taking a General nursing or a B.Sc nursing course to get into a hospital which could pay them salary to repay their family’s debt!!!! They somehow manage to pay the fees for all the semesters and finally end up in a bond with a hospital!!! Many aspire to move out of the country so as to bring their family out off financial constraints!!! They search ads which recruit nurses abroad, attend IELTS classes, forward applications for their visas…..but how many of them succeed in getting into their final destination???? Cheating comes to the forefront again….. agents cheat these girls….in the form of gulping the entire money they invested into the visa application or landing them up in places of forced prostitution!!!! Now this post can be related to the Malayalam movie “22 Female Kottayam” !!! I wanted to write on this subject and the film really inspired me to write this post!!!! I don’t know if everyone in that character’s situation can do such a revenge…. But what she did was apt!!!! She was cheated and raped twice!!!! And she managed to settle old scores with the villains!!!! Now that was in a film!!!! When a woman is trapped in such a way,is it possible for her to regain strength and strike back….what if she was forced into prostitution…locked up in a room…..what if she was molested……what if she was abused physically and mentally?????? I really don’t know how to end this post…but I deeply wish…that the women out there…anywhere in any corner of the world…who is in a similar position…May God give them the strength to fight back for what people did to them….for what they lost!!!! Im feminist…not a hardcore though…… and I hate Male chauvinist pigs!!!!

Last night….

I opened my eyes….

They were moist,

Maybe from last night’s moaning!

I looked around,

There towards my right….,

Was a big window,

With a bright blue spotted curtain

Drawn apart fully!

The morning rays seeping in,

Reminded me of Tyndall effect!

I wished,

I wasn’t alone!

I re-winded my memory….

Something I shouldn’t have done….

But, sometimes….

Our mind is automated!

It fast-forwards

And re-winds certain situations….

Which we try to forget!

Last night…. Was one!

I was the same still,

Something stirred in me,

Something I shouldn’t have

Given a second look!

I felt something piercing me,

Trying to look up….

I found someone ,

Playing with my feeble hands!

Smile was one,

I always tried to give out!

But now,

It seemed a hard thing to do!

My jaws didn’t seem to budge!

I felt dizzy,

Out there was another being,

A wispy haired….

Dark coloured man!

He seemed odd!

I enquired about him,

But I was given a reply….

“You’re hallucinating”!

I was startled by a sound,

Turning towards the window,

I saw a sparrow,

A bleeding bird….!

Its fur looked aweful,

Just as if it was electrified!

I felt pathetic,

It resembled a young woman,

Who once had the most….

Beautiful hair,

But lost it….!

It resembled myself….!

I saw myself the same way,

Last night!

With patched of shaved scalp

Here and there!

Silky and lustrous hair was replaced

By few frizzy strands!

My once-shining scalp

Had turned sore and pale,

Cos’ of the radiations!

I longed to brush my hair,

With my long fingers!

I barely had the strength,

To look myself into the mirror….

Last night!

But what I saw was the worst,

I could witness!

I looked different….

It wasn’t me!

The bird was going to die,

I longed to hold it….

To preserve….

Its life,

Its soul!

It was madly hitting,

Against the window!

I saw it wince in pain,

I heard its screech!

It gave a huge cry….

Till it fell motionless….

Lifeless….

Onto the window sill!

I felt a sudden turmoil in me….

Like…. a boat losing its control,

During a rough weather!

Like…. a someone sucking up my soul!

I felt a pressure,

I had seen it die….

I knew its pain!

I…. I understood….

I was on the verge of dying!

I realized I couldn’t

Bear the pain of dying,

Not because I was a coward….

But I longed to stay alive….

I yearned to live more!

I had to run many more miles,

I had to conquer heights!

I was leaving everything behind,

I didn’t want to succumb

To any illness!

I was just 27,

I wasn’t just a young woman,

But also a mother….

Of a 6 month old baby!

I longed….

To hold and caress her,

To kiss on her puny toes,

To shield her in my warmth!

The pleasure….

When she sucked milk from my nipples,

Made me satisfied and content….

In every terms as….a mother!

It stopped when I was forbided

To do so….

I longed to breastfeed her!

I was enjoying motherhood….

Until the disaster happened!

I couldn’t bear the pain….

In me!

It was increasing!

I felt canon balls being shot

At me!

My lips started getting dry,

My lungs gasped for oxygen,

My voice quavered and

My throat cracked, while

I started sweating profusely!

People started rushing around me,

I was fitted with useless wires….

Meters and an oxygen mask!

Docters began checking my pulse,

My heart beat….

Everything reached its zenith!

I couldn’t waste much time!

I indicated,

That I longed to see my baby….

One last time!!!!

A the nurse opened the door,

To inform my bystanders….

The dark coloured man returned!

He seemed odd,

With his emotionless looks….

And heavy robes!

He reached out his cold hand,

And grappled my arm!

I felt like the boat finally,

Crashing onto a rock,

And submerging into the sea!

I became….

Terribly weak!

He started sucking up….my soul!

I …. gasped for breath….!

And as I gave him a last look,

When he turned his back,

I could see myself on his shoulders,

Eyes closed….

Motionless….

And lifeless!

Everything else seemed slow paced….

Docs continued giving me CPR….

I gave out a heavy sigh

And breathed my last!